People often ask me…Scott, when should I get relationship help?
You know that the only way to keep your relationship alive, is to keep working on it right? But sometimes we become complacent, don’t we?
And things change and before we know it, the rows start, angry words fly and then the man ends up sleeping on the couch.
So in answer to your question, when should I get relationship help? Well, read on!
A Story That I Share with My Clients…
George loves cars. It’s a love affair for him. One day he spots his dream car.
It’s on display in a car showroom, lit well with those bright ceiling lights.
It’s gleaming and sparkling as it rotates around and around on a rotating plinth.
He goes into the showroom to get closer to this beauty. She just looks stunning as she almost begs him to get closer.
George takes in her curves and his senses are driven wild. He runs a hand over the cars bodywork. So smooth.
He opens the car door and instantly the smell of her interior wafts over him.
She smells wonderful to him. It’s that smell that only a new car can have.
He takes in the site of the car’s inner features for the first time as he sits in the driver’s seat.
Instantly he holds the steering wheel and imagines taking her out for a thrilling spin on the open roads.
The salesman sees George exploring this new model and goes over to assist.
“Would you like to listen to her engine?” asks the salesman.
“Sure,” says George.
The salesman passes George the key and without any hesitation, George turns the key. The car starts with a reassuring purr. She sounds amazing as he gently revs her engine!
George already knows, he has to have her and without a second thought, takes her for a test drive.
She’s The One!
Well, that’s it, George is hooked. He’s finally found his dream car and can’t wait to get her home and get to know her even more. The look on his friends faces when they see this little beauty!
The day arrives and he picks up his brand new car. And the second experience is better than the first. She looks, smells and sounds, unlike anything he’s experienced before.
Proudly, he drives her home. It’s going to be a love affair, this car and George that’s for sure!
Only a few days have passed since George drove his new car home. Already he’s outside with her, washing and waxing her.
The detailing he’s giving her takes him hours.
And then he gives her the same devotion on the inside. Cleaning and polishing the dashboard and trims. Vacuuming the upholstery and carpets.
She barely had a speck of dust on her, but she was worth it. The image of her when he first saw her, was still fresh in George’s mind!
A few months go by and it’s time to take his new car for her first service. It’s a commitment he’s more than willing to stick to. And the cost to him is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter because it’s worth it.
George is in awe of his new car. Six months after he bought her, she still has that shiny and new look and feel. She still has that brand new car smell.
He never wants this feeling to end!
The First Problem…
Then one afternoon, he’s driving across town and he hears his first suspicious rattle and hum. He can’t fathom where it’s coming from. Immediately, he turns around and heads off straight back to the dealership.
They take her in and the technicians check her over. Nothing to report and they just tell George to keep an eye on it.
Another twelve months have passed by now and George’s car is starting to look like a used car. A scuff here and there. A slight scratch here and a tiny dent there.
It’s all good.
George still washes and waxes her, but the attention to detail is dropping off a little! And he’s kind of become a little deaf and blind to that suspicious little rattle and hum.
Without a doubt, this car still means everything to him and she still makes his heart miss a beat from time to time!
Three years have gone by now since the day George and his car met that day in a well-lit showroom. The warranty period has expired and the car running costs are going up.
Instead of taking the car back to the dealership, George now takes his beloved car to a back street garage for servicing. It saves him a few bucks and they do an okay job.
7 Year Hitch?
Seven years on. And one cold and wet winter afternoon, George is driving interstate. That rattle and hum are back even noisier than ever!
But before he can dismiss it again a flashing beacon appears on the dashboard. And then an alarm too!
In the middle of nowhere, what’s he going to do he wonders? Keep driving to the next servo he decides.
Then without warning, there’s a bang, a puff of smoke and an oily smell. The transmission drops out and George has no choice but to bring the car to a stop on the side of the road.
And that’s when it hits him!
When did he become so careless and inattentive about this car?
When did it become too hard for him to look after this car?
She was his pride and joy! What happened to that?
Finally, the car gets picked up by recovery and taken to the nearest service centre.
The news wasn’t good! George was looking at a completely new engine or a rebuild!
In either case, the cost would surely outweigh the value of the car!
And George now had the decision to make.
Was he to realise his mistakes?
Would he do everything he could to repair the damage and get his car back to the way it was, no matter the cost?
Or would he concede that no matter what time and effort he now put into the car, it was lost forever?
So what did George learn?
Well, of course, he realised that if he’d done more of the little things during his ownership of the car it would have stayed looking like new.
It would have run a lot better for him too!
And the joy he would have experienced running this car would have lasted for years more to come.
But instead, he chose to cut back on the little things. He chose to ignore the little warning signs like a little rattle and hum.
He chose to cut some corners here and there to save time and money.
But most of all he lost that sense of passion for his car that he had in the beginning. Maybe the car lost its new smell, new looks and it’s new sound!
It was then that George noticed the beauty in his car now, not what it looked like all those years ago, but now. Maybe, just maybe, he’d repair the car and get things back up and running again.
So did you get the metaphor?
If you read a story about a man and his car, then perhaps think a little deeper 🙂
If you’re getting the metaphor here, then you’re perhaps realising something new!
Perhaps you’re realising the answer to the question….
When Should I Get Relationship Help?
Maybe your answer was something like…
“I need to get relationship help as soon as I start noticing the small things that are different”
And that’s a good start for sure!
But what about this for an idea?
If you are always giving love and taking care of your partner’s needs, your own needs are automatically taken care of.
Then you’ll never need relationship help right?
I know, it sounds too simple, doesn’t it?
Well, it is simple!
But what I’m not here to tell you is that it is easy.
Just like owning a car, you might have to get your hands dirty once in awhile. You might have to go an extra mile.
You may have to get out of your comfort zone and accept that things do go wrong from time to time.
You’ll have to start noticing how your thoughts dictate to you your experience of relationships.
The Powerhouse of Emotions
Relationships are the powerhouse of emotions. Nothing other than money can trigger such high emotions in people like relationships do.
Relationships can be so full of joy and sadness, love and hate, tears of happiness and grief.
But so many people fear to experience the bad stuff in relationships. And they have relationships in such a way as to try to control all of the bad stuff by pushing it away.
The problem is with that is that it attracts more of it.
And before you know it, all the good stuff has gone and you’re only left with the bad stuff.
Which is where you may be right now!
And maybe you want some help with your relationship?
If you are in this place right now, I feel your pain. I’ve been there too!
I got lost in all kinds of negative thoughts and emotions about myself and my marriage.
And what I feared the most is what manifested in my life. It nearly cost me my marriage!
So that’s when I asked myself this same question, which resulted in relationship help for me and my wife.
Now my wife and I are completely in love with each other again!
And you can be too!
Get My Relationship Help
I’ve learnt a whole lot of stuff from the relationship help that I experienced. Added to that, I’ve learnt a lot too from my own personal development and all the studying and courses that I’ve done. Therefore I now have a unique blend of relationship help methods.
But nothing beats personal experience. Wisdom comes from inside, not from any textbook or course.
My gift to you is to share my wisdom with you so that you can save your relationships.
No matter how far down the track you’ve let things go, there is hope for you right now.
All you need to do is reach out your hand. I can help you out of that sink hole, but you need to help me pull you out. If you just hang there as I heave and pull, I will probably have to let go.
So if you’re ready for a bit of work and committed to the outcome you desire, then I can get you back on the right path.
You and your partner can experience the relationship you have always wanted and perhaps have had!
Make it happen today!
Get in touch with me, SMS me, email me or do whatever you need to have a chat with me.
The first chat is on me, so there’s no charges or time restrictions!
Let’s give it a go! If you get something out of it and it has instant effects for you, we’ll do it again!
If not, we can just part ways – no dramas 🙂
In the meantime, share your thoughts and comments in the space below!